by Cadence
I started speaking my mind before I started rhyming, but DAMN if MCing didn't turn out to be a good way to get my point across. Then again, it's possible some of you aren't checking my music (yet), so thanks to good people of Urbansmarts.com, now I have another forum in which to bother you with my thoughts on the world. For the next however long, whenever I damn well feel like it, you can find me here, poisoning minds with my insights into music, politics, culture, bad tax advice and anything else that catches my attention. It's supposed to be fun for you to read, see?
I'm not claiming to be the voice of hip hop, or an authority on anything really. I'm just an opinionated dude who happens to rhyme, make beats, and fuck it up on the wheels. I think I'm right most of the time, which will bother if you don't agree with me. Then again, if you agree with me, that means YOU'RE right most of the time, so we're gonna get along JUST FINE.
So, to get us started, let's cover a few absolutes. Some rights and wrongs, just to let you know what you're getting yourself into here. That way I can offend all the haters off the bat and get started on building a loyal following of people who agree with everything I say right away. And over the months that lie ahead I can tell you what to think, how to dress, and what to buy to put more money in my pocket. Sound fair?
For starters, if you think that the Red Sox beating the Yankees was a good thing--congratulations! You're RIGHT. Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Microsoft to win an anti-trust case. I don't blame the Yankee fans for being brainwashed; it's easy to fall for a group of guys who have a lot of money and seem to always win. Especially when they dress in snazzy pinstriped suits. But this time they LOST. BADLY. To a team I've been watching since I was 6. And if you think this is just a bitter Sox fan seizing my first ever opportunity to gloat, you're WRONG. Or maybe you're right. But fuck me, this has never happened before, so I don't know how to act. And they lost. The Yankees that is. Badly.

If you dislike John Kerry immensely, you're RIGHT. He's wooden and plastic at the same time if that's even possible. He doesn't stand for anything, other than being President, and it's pathetic that the Democratic party couldn't come up with anyone better. In these trying times, EVERYONE KNOWS what's right and what's wrong when it comes to world politics. But if you think George W. Bush is right, you're WRONG! Even if Kerry suffers a catastrophic brain injury and can only make decisions by pointing his mouth stick at the words "yes" or "no" written in crayon on a piece of laminated construction paper, Kerry will be a better leader than George W. Bush. It's just a fact. If you can, go to the polls and vote for John Kerry: Bring a friend. Do it for Diddy! That guy ran a damn marathon with a damn Mohawk for Christ's sake. Respect his wishes! But only about the voting thing. The rest of the time, he can eat a dick and/or sign me to a lucrative record deal in which I retain full creative control and own all my masters. And if you think I'm gonna let him be in the video, you're WRONG!
If you think hip hop is one monolithic form of music, you're WRONG again! Donny Osmond and Jimi Hendrix both fall under the general category of rock musician, but they haven't belonged in the same sentence together until RIGHT NOW. Like jazz, and rock, and blues and every other form of music that survived long enough, hip hop has grown to where it has sub genres. Many are so different that they have almost nothing in common with each other. Yes there's a big difference between 50 Cent and El-P, but if you like one and hate the other, you're no more hip-hop than someone who has the opposite opinion, so get over yourself. And if you hate them both, you have as much in common with the average opera fan as you do with the average hip hop fan. How you feel NOW? The point is, if you think someone else's taste in hip hop is the problem, you're WRONG! That's just how it is. Listen to what you like. And BUY it. Especially if it's independently released. Downloading is all fine and good, but if you're feeling MC Ill-Nice's music, he can't eat off of climbing the most-downloaded charts on www.indieskillz.com. You don't have to like what other people like. Other people are WRONG anyway. You're RIGHT that the music they like is wack, but let them have it. After all, that just means, more dope hip hop records for you, RIGHT? That said, if you think Melle Mel is one of the greatest MCs to ever pick up a microphone, you're RIGHT!
Take a moment to go back over your answers to some of the questions posed here. If you scored more than 51% give yourself a big pat on the back, because, like me, you're right most of time too. That means that when I damn well feel like writing a second installment of this column, you might want to come back and read it.
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